I'm A Little Heated At The Moment.

This will be brief, but I had to get it out and vent a moment and I'd like some feedback from any of you PLEASE as to if I am out of line.

So, last week I designed a party invite for a friend of mines sons birthday and it was pretty time intensive, I'm thinking like 8-10 hours of work and I have done other work for this person in the past unpaid, but did receive a thank you gift. This time however she came over to the house to order them, went on about how money is tight and then sort of half offered me $20 for my time. I said no of course and she says, "are you sure?" I said "I'm sure."

I told Matt what happened and he said I should have taken it, but I understand money being tight so it was ok. Well, yesterday I found out that her husband just bought a new iPhone! Now, I LOVE this friend dearly, but when you compare our two lifestyles, they are drastically different and she knows it.

I am a little peeved about this, but will just be letting it go, I would never want her to know that it made me feel bad. So, am I wrong?

Going to my first "doctor" appointment tonight and I'm kind nervous and don't know where to start. This should prove interesting.

Something About The Acorn and The Tree??

Had a good laugh on myself yesterday while shoe shopping with Stella, so much so that I had to call my mom while it was happening. In my earlier, less economically insufficient life I loved me some shoes and not expensive shoes, but shoes all the same. Maybe not quite at Stella's age, but not much older I would throw fits about getting what I wanted and quite often I would win, much to my mothers frustration. I can understand, it was much easier to just give in then to contend with me for more than ten rounds, I was R-E-L-E-N-T-L-E-S-S. So, while browsing in the shoe aisle she finally found a pair she had to have and the cost was only $12.99 and she had something like $60 of birthday money, so I said of course you can get them, until we arrived in the toy aisle. She saw the $45 Barbie laptop and the shoes, well let's just say, she couldn't ever remember wanting shoes in the first place. She paid with her money, proud to receive some change back and we were on our way, shoes long forgotten.

UNTIL this morning, after having been allowed to stay up WAY too late, we're talking midnight because we had a bonfire and other children were there, so how could we put her to bed. We know our children and some may think that putting her to bed early, 8-8:30 that we're mean, but we know that she is a major ass pain if we don't. Today, no different than times in the past she performed true to form, even negotiating a trip back to Kmart this time with dad, only to discover that we were NOT going to get her the shoes and what she could afford with her remaining $5-6 dollars was not what she wanted. Which I think is great, she didn't give in to the impulse of just getting "something" to fill that void and I'm proud of her for that.

After coming home she was informed that due to whining and such, she needed to relax in her room with a movie which didn't last long and now after many tear-filled shenanigans has ended up grounded and mad and able to get to the heart of my insecurities all in one foul swoop.

She's an amazing kid, but alas she is still a girl and prone to emotionality. I remember it well so I try to remain calm, Matt on the other hand can't wrap his brain around it, especially on less than 4 hours of sleep. So, my gift to him this Father's Day, a 2 hour nap followed by a delicious dinner and finally a child going to bed at 6 and one who is already in her room because she's grounded. Sounds pleasant to me.

Have a great Father's Day today, no matter how it plays out for you! :)

What if Life Were Really Like One of Those Pick Your Own Path Books?

I'm all about the idea that your life has already been mapped out for you, and you just have to enjoy the ride, but do you think that the "universe" gives you clues along the way? I like to think that your "clues" are really those tiny bursts of happiness that occur when you know that what you're doing in that instant is exactly what you're supposed to be doing. I've been having those lately, when I create my invitations for my company Sully & Marge or anything associated with that. It's what I want for my life! What is giving you those little moments of excitement these days, I'd love to know?

I have reached a decision though, I've decided to see a psychiatrist. I've always been an emotional gal, but in the last few months, it seems to be getting in the way of the everyday. Well, at least probably 4-5 days out of the week anyway. I know where it all stems from, stress over Matt wanting a better job, not having enough money to survive much beyond paying the bills, getting our mortgage modified yet again and a little more personal stuff that I won't into here (a girls gotta have her secrets). It's all adding up and making for some pretty rough days, and the only thing that seems to get me through are the kids love and my escape in being a designer.

I'm so thankful I found my vocation, because if I had to add that in with the other stresses, I don't know where I'd be emotionally, probably in a padded room somewhere I suppose. I knew over ten years ago who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do, yet I'm not exactly where I'd hoped I'd be. I do know that I have the rest of my life to get there, so I am somewhat hopeful.

We had a party for Stella's birthday yesterday, she'd turned 6 on the 9th. We'd planned to only have immediate family, but it ended up being slightly more. One small family in particular ended making for a very interesting evening. Let's just say, without knowing what each other was thinking, after everyone had left, I walked onto the porch where Matt was smoking and both of us without missing a beat, made a reference to Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon movies. Matt said he'd "never felt more like Clark Griswold in his life" and I said "doesn't he remind you of that guy from those National Lampoon movies?" I could go into detail, but I am unsure of who reads this blog, so I will say nothing more. And, if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then watching only one of these movies I've referenced will give you all the info you need, but "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" is probably the best example I can think of.

Aside from all that, Stella is growing up way too fast in my opinion. She wanted among other items, open toed high heeled shoes. I said "no way" but in the end, I found some sandals meeting all those requirements in her size. And, to her credit, she walks very well in them. lol We also gave her a Justin Bieber CD, and yes, she has the "Feve for the Bieb!" We also bought the new Alice in Wonderland for her, love that movie. Well, that's the catch up for now. Later.