What A Life!

Not really, just bidness as usual. Yesterday was my "day" to sleep in, that's how my hubs and I work it at home so that the same person isn't waking up at some god awful hour with the kids. Although it always seems that he is the one to have to get up when the kids decide, "ya know, I think 6am is a perfectly acceptable time to wake up on a Sunday morning!" Muwahhhhahahaha I say as I roll back over and stay in bed till 10. Mind you, the kids got up at 8:30 on my watch and I managed to bathe the baby then put him down for a nap, do the dishes and clean the house, all before hubs woke up. Not too shabby. But, poor Matt had a banner day yesterday. He was basically up by 5:30, officially with both kids at 7am. In that time, Cohen threw up twice, had a bath a short name and was generally boogery and crabby. Stella was demanding as usual and my restful sleep to be was constantly interrupted by bellows from below. When Matt doesn't get enough sleep, WATCH OUT! Then I got up, showered and was ready for the day, he was off to take his mother to Canada to buy her some things. As soon as he got back he was going to do laundry only to realize that my using the disposal after I hit the grocery store with both kids in tow then came home and cleaned out the fridge, put baby down for a nap, started our dinner of corned beef and cabbage and finally ate my lunch at 3pm, that my running the disposal had backed up in the wash tub in the basement. In a word, he was disgusted. Seething underneath, but swearing to me it was not my fault, YEAH RIGHT! After a few hours of trying to bail out and plunge, he went back to his moms to get her drain snake. It didn't work. Luckily he has a friend who is a plumber, but as you can see he is a man and refuses to admit defeat and waited until 8pm to call him. Needless to say, his friend was over tonight for a couple hours and cleaned out the drain like a champ, he is my new hero and the poor guy wouldn't take a dime from us.

Phew. I'm tired just from typing it and I was the one who lived it.

Today was spent trying to figure out ways to make extra buckage, not doing so well yet, but I'll keep trying. I'm so over with this struggling thing, but then I remind myself that I'm only 32 and my time is coming. Right?

I'm Not Gone.

Just in case you were wondering, not abandoning this blog for the new blog, just adding a new one. I wanted a place to track my progression because I think it's going to be a worthwhile journey to document. Things have been pretty normal on the home front with a BBQ with my in-laws on the 4th. They came over, weird as they are, I know they mean well. Matt's sister just doesn't really understand that I think she stresses Stella out. It's like when they are over here, Stella is supposed to stop being 5 years old and wanting to play with her friends and only hang out with family. She just got to the point on the 4th where she ran in the house crying and I had to follow her in and let her know that we are the bosses around here, not Aunt Sarah. Sarah even got all riled up when I invited my friend Julie, who's on bed rest and having her baby on July 21st, and her husband over to watch our fireworks. And, she got bent out of shaped when the little kids in the neighborhood came over with there chairs to hang out too. Eventually she loosened up and went with the flow, but every time they come over we have to start over. It's stressful for me too. Oh well, it's my cross to bare. Cohen is rolling over all the time now and stands pretty well when you hold him up. It's only a matter of time before he's crawling and pulling himself up. 

Lately I've really been itching to scrapbook. So, I ordered some prints from as many places as I could find that offered a bunch of free and cheap prices. I have so far ordered from 4 different places for a total of about 500 pictures and only spent $45. I sorted through all my patterned papers to find ones to give Julie and then I'm going to pick up a boy album for her. Since she's on bed rest she's been wanting to get ready to scrapbook the photos of her baby to be. We talked lastnight and I offered to get her an album and the next thing I know they're offering us a television. After Cohen was born our hand me down tv died and all we had was a small 12" one. Well, this is beyond generous at 27" and instead of being a standard screen, it's flat. We have been blessed in so many small ways this year, maybe instead of lamenting the bad things, I need to stitch together all the wonderful little things.

Big Bash Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is Stella 5th birthday party. She officially turned 5 on the 9th, but since she was in preschool this year, figured it might be fun to invite her little friends from school to swim and have a little cake. Speaking of swimming, what's with this weather? Is the May or June? I have no idea if it will even be warm enough to swim tomorrow, bummer. And, geez, what's with people not RSVPing? So far I've had one no and 2 yes. Hmmmm, what to think about the other 13 children that were invited, SCARY! We also have friends and family coming, so all is not lost. Stella won't care as long as someone comes. :)

Took her to the doctor today and she is just big, in all manners of speaking. The doctor says her weight is ok, and that as long as she stays the same by next year she'll fall right in line with her height. She is 95th percentile for her height and the doc said the size of a 6 or 7 year old, this I figured. And so, people will expect more of her based on how she looks or think she is not very smart. And, she may need glasses, poor kid. :( Apparently Matt got glasses in kindergarten and I think both of my brothers did as well.

It was funny tonight we went to Plato's Place for dinner and the waitress suddenly said, "oh my god, he looks just like that baby from The Incredibles," pointing at Cohen. This made me laugh out loud as I have said this to Matt and Stella on more than one occasion.

OMG, I fed, or rather, tried to feed him peaches tonight and he would have none of it. I was telling the doctor about his #2 issues and she suggested starting peaches, even before veggies. In a word, HATE, and that isn't too strong a word either. Even 15 seconds after having tasted, his little body would shiver in disgust. I tried mixing it with cereal too and UCK, hell no. He even refused the bottle, choosing instead to get to bed. Such a sweetie!

Well, I should get to chilling out as all the housework is done, food buying is complete aside from Cake and ice. I need my rest, because if it rains, I need not be stressed if I am tons of people in my itty bitty house.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

A Glimpse Into My Past.

Over the last week or so I have been color correcting some of my moms old photos of my brothers and myself when I stumbled upon this little gem.

Me in my circa 1977 stroller complete with all the dangerous crap manufacturers compiled into one contraption. Note first the metal bar within close proximity to my itty bitty mouth fully capable of bashing the teeth out of my head. Not to mention all the fun little pinch points for little fingers to fit in between. In addition, this thing looks like it could topple forward if I were to lean too far over. Great job moms of the seventies, how did we survive with these dangerous "baby items" and sleeping on our stomachs?

Poor Jilted Stella.

The other day Stella informed me that she and Jimmy were and I quote "In Love." I laughed, but she insisted her and her little schoolmate who is quite the cutey were in fact in love. I asked her is she was going to marry him and her answer was "I'm not going to marry a little kid." I assume she was implying that they were just very close friends.

This evening after school, I saw Jimmy and his grandma walking past our house with a little girl. I said "hey Stella, Jimmy just went by our house." She bolts to the window only to see this little girl and she screams "that's Faith!" And let me just tell you, she sounded very mad that her little Jimmy was with another girl. I said, "well, are you sure that it's Faith?" And she said, "YES! yes it was." She proceeded to step out onto the porch and yelled "Hi Jimmy" but got no response. She sat out there for a minute, I can only guess debating whether or not to run down the sidewalk and say hello. Instead she sulked for a minute and told me that I needed to make her feel better. I felt for her, really, but mostly it just cracked me up.

We are surely in for it aren't we. 

A Conversation We Had This Morning.

Stella: "Mom, do you know that Patrick likes to say Fish Paste?"

Me: "Oh really, yeah, I guess I can remember hearing him say that."

Stella: "Yeah, and I think Sponge Bob likes to say Jesus Christ."

Me: "STELLA, don't say that again and by the way, I think it's Momma who likes to say that, but that's a big people word, you're not allowed to say it."

Stella: "OK momma."

It's Time For Things To Change.

Had a rough day yesterday, between managing the everyday and trying to mix in a doctor appointment for me that took WAY longer than it needed to and trying to feel like I'm a good mother, I was pushed to my limit by the time Matt got home from school at 10pm. I unloaded to him and luckily for him, he just sat there, listened, and sympathized. YES, after all this time, he knows what I am looking for when I do that, not spending the whole time interrupting me offering "suggestions." I actually felt a little better after talking this time. However, I stayed up till 2am and felt sick to my stomach when I woke up at 8am. I really need to stop doing that, but I feel so much pressure to produce lately. The doctor told me that my issues with stress and anger are most likely the result of severe sleep deprivation, and I would have to tend to agree, but everything else as far as the new babe goes is perfection. Aside from new symptoms now of sciatic pain and what could be the start of vericose vains (OH YEAH!). This is my life. 

But, there is something new and potentially positive on the horizon, only time will tell, but I can't wait to get started, it could only make things a bit easier in the long run.

I Am Heartbroken.

Today I heard something that made me so sad and it even made me cry. We picked Stella up from school this afternoon as we always do and she was telling us about her day. She cut out a stop sign and an arrow for her Stop, Drop and Roll mobil, apparently learning about fire saftey. Then she proceeds to tell us that at snack time a little boy sitting next to her told her she was fat. Her response was that of utter surprise and she stated, "I'm Not Fat!"

Inside I crumpled like a brittle leaf. All my worst fears leapt to the front of my brain and my throat clenched. My little baby may be slightly fluffy, but she certainly is not FAT!!! Damnit! These are my issues, not hers, why does she have to have those words uttered to her? She is beautiful and in my opinion, the cutest girl in her class, this little boy must obviously come from a family where it is acceptable to criticize even the youngest of people for various things. 

Matt's response to her was to tell the little boy, "well, at least my parents are literate, and married!" I half laughed, but inside I was hurt beyond recognition. As I got out the car after the 45 second car ride, I could hold back the tears no longer, even as I type this, I still have tears in my eyes. I called my mom, a teacher at the same school and she advised me to write a letter and that is what I intended to do anyway.

You see, in my preschool class, I was voted most sympathetic, and this is something that has stuck with me ever since, almost like a handicap, so far, Stella doesn't have this gene. God, I am so hurt by that, but luckily, she's a smart little girl, and not yet nearly as sensitive as I am or was. I love her so much.

Child Trickery.

Stella has been really funny lately. I mean, she's always funny, but saying funny things and asking "Big Girl" questions. A few weeks ago, while driving home from a day spent at Grandma & Grandpa's, we were talking about the baby. Out of the clear blue, Stella asked us "how did that baby get in momma's belly?" We both looked at eachother, chuckled for a moment nervously and I turned to her and said, "can I get back to you on that?" She said, "ok!" I've yet to decide to tell her anything and she hasn't brought it up again since. It seems like she's too young to be asking a question like that, but I guess it just comes with the territory now.

On the way to grandma's this morning for her usual day at grandma's while I work, we were talking about the possibility of her attending preschool. You see, we applied to get into a free program at the school up the street from our house, that also happens to be the school that my mother is a teacher at. The normal preschool program there runs $100/month, but this program is free and depends on various factors such as income, housing situation and the like. We knew that when we applied, it would be REALLY iffy if we'd even get in, but we thought what the hell, with Matt being in the auto industry, our income varies from month to month and now, with all that we've found out about our mortgage, preschool of $100 or more a month is simply not in the cards, it would literally break the bank. So, I had completely lost all hope of preschool for Stella. Then a couple weeks ago I got a call from the school asking if we were still interested in having Stella attend and I excitedly replied, most definitely. My hope was renewed and I called my mom to see what she thought our chances were and she agreed, if they were calling, then we were probably pretty much in. However, the other day, she went to the school to see what the situation was and was told that there were less spots available than who applied, so she told me not to count on it, but that we still had a shot because she filled the teacher in on our current monetary situation. I don't really want to get in because my mom helped us, but I REALLY don't want Stella to have to miss out on preschool, I know she's ready, she NEEDS this! So, we will find out for sure on September 2nd, keep your fingers crossed. But, getting back to the car ride. So, in all that talking about school, I think she was starting to feel like a big girl and she proceeds to tell me that big girls don't have their grandma's watch them. I laughed and said, are you sad that you're going to grandma's, she promptly said NO, but I thought it was a very funny thing for her to say. The girl who sometimes cries on the weekends when she forgets that she isn't going to grandma's for 2 whole days.

Then, tonight I decided to make eggplant parmesan for dinner. I didn't want to tell Stella exactly what we were having, so I lied and told her it was chicken with cheese and sauce. She ate nearly every bite, but asked me why I made "tires" for dinner? Matt and I both thought it was pretty inventive of her to see eggplants as tires, but not once did she say "this isn't chicken!" When she was done, we told her what it really was and at first she was shocked and sort of disgusted, but then realized that it tasted pretty darn good anyway.

Problem With A Bedroom Routine.

So, we have a problem. Every single night when we put Stella to bed we try to get all the requests out of the way before she can even ask for them. You know, the I need a glass of water, I need to go potty, yada yada yada. We get her ready for bed, brush her teeth, read her stories and then gives kisses and hugs and all the other junk and tuck her in with a goodnight. Every single night I hope that this means sleepy time is not far off. However, then the annoyance ensues, the 4-10 times she gets up for the same things we've already given her again and again and quite often one begets another, such as too much water equals the need to go potty. Now, I know this is absolutely normal, but my question is this: "How do I stop getting so frustrated and annoyed with her?" And, is she just not tired enough to go to bed and should we move up her bed time? She never used to be this difficult and I get so angry with her and then I feel so bad for getting mad at her. It's a vicious cycle in our house right now.

She is having a really hard time with authority lately and as with all kids, listening. The other night she was playing at the neighbors house but kept coming back home to tattle on the other girl. I was like, tell HER mom, she's right there, don't tell me. Then when it was time for dinner, she ran away from me and made me chase her. Finally, I had Matt go get her. We ate dinner and she proceeded to sneak out the back door, forcing Matt to literally chase after her with her kicking and screaming in the wake of it all. Please tell me it is just a phase or the full moon and that it's not simply that I'm a bad parent, but that it's her immature brain trying to hardwire itself during her development!!!!!!! All I have to say is, I'm looking forward to Thursday when my mom picks her up in the morning to spend the night and all day Thursday and Friday with Grammie and Papa. I love her, but she's working my last pregnant nerves lately.

Is this the acting out because of the baby already???