To 2009!

To smaller boobs and a brighter future.

Resolute or Indecisive?

This year I do believe is the year that I make no promises. All those seem to do for me is allow me to let myself down. Instead I resolve to see the "sunny side." For example, it's not that we are using the cheapest baby formula, rather it is the most cost effective baby formula. You see how I did that? It's easy, now you try it. You want another one? How about instead of me just being too cheap and lazy to put gas in my car and drive somewhere, I resolve to lessen my carbon footprint. I know I'm being silly about this, but really, I think it will help me to do this. I am way too negative most of the time and hopefully this will make me a more positive person on a daily basis. 

In other news, Cohen is just a great little guy. He and Stella are bonding nicely and she really seems to enjoy being the big sister. My mother has always told me that one is easy and that two is more than twice as hard. I didn't know exactly what she meant, but I did know that those words really worried me. What could she mean, more than twice as hard? Where was she going with this, and why couldn't she expand on that statement? NOW I GET IT! It's not that having a new little baby in the house is hard, it's dealing with that other little one that's been there in the first position for this long now feels like they are playing second fiddle. AHA!

Her personality has gone through such changes lately that I was concerned that she might have a mental illness. Going from so sweetly holding baby bro to making snotty comments at the least little thing. I spend most of my day feeling like I'm constantly trying to reassure her in not so subtle ways that she is still much loved all the while needing to scold some of the not so lovely behavior issues that have come up. Strangest part is, I don't feel old enough to have any depth of knowledge on this subject but at 31 with two children, I guess it is what it is. Matt and I can't help but notice all the personality differences between the two in relation to newborn behaviors. Cohen is SOOOOOO much more layed back than Stella ever was even just down to when he wakes up in the middle of the night. She would immediately wake up with this shrill cry that said "feed me know or pay later." All he does is sort of sqawk a bit and makes little noises to alert you that "hey, I'm here and when you get a minute could you feed me?" I think we could be feeling this way simply because we've done this before and we know what we're up

 against and anything less traumatic than what we've already experienced we chalk up to good luck.

He's precious and she's preciously precocious. 

This photo was taken just about 24 hours after giving birth to Cohen so excuse my strange look, but in this photo I really see how and why people say Stella is my Mini Me, weird how you don't always notice those things. 

I am happy to say that since having Cohen I have lost about 22 of the 30 pounds I gained during pregnancy and I'm guessing that the gigantic boobs I've been forced to carry around the last three days may just account for a couple more pounds, so I'm nearly back to my starting point and I would like to lose another 25 to get where I really want to be, hmmm, maybe I snuck in one shiny little New Years resolution. :)

But, since I am not quite there I've had to wear some of the early maternity pants because my regular jeans don't fit yet and today, the little miss asked me why my butt is getting bigger. Wow! Someone hasn't learned to be delicate about such subjects. Matt though did reassure me that it was just the pants that looked bigger on my butt, not the other way around.

Welcome: Cohen Sullivan

Yes, that is him and his prison number. I thought it was funny that when they discharged us, it was not by his name, but his number D5697. Hence the old time style prison photo and number. Let's see, I went in the day after Christmas at 8am. Instead of inducing me, they said I was already in active labor and so they weren't going ahead with the petocin. I was already at 4cm and progressing nicely. After a couple hours, they gave me a shot of Nubane to deal with the contractions and I was doing fine. That wore off and the contractions sort of stopped. They gave me a whiff of Petocin and the races were off. By noon, I was having heavy duty contractions with about 30 seconds in between them. I said I wanted the epidural. The guy came in all tattooed and buff acting bragging about how good he was at administering said epidural and began the process. The contractions were getting worse and worse and by now I was crying. After probably about 15 attempts, he was going to get someone to help him, something about the pockets between my vertibrae being small. Anyway, the nurse asked me if I didn't want Demerol instead and I said YES, don't let him get somebody else. He came in and looked all apologetic and let down and I was in so much pain I just said, "don't worry about it, I don't care." At that point I went from 8cm to 10cm in probably under a minute and KNEW that I was about to push. They came in and after I think 4 pushes, hard ones, he was out, by 2:33pm. He weighed 7lbs 11oz and was 20.25 inches. A wonderful little boy and we are so thrilled he's ours.

Here's a funny story though, on Christmas night Stella was spending the night at grandma's so that we could just go easily to the hospital the next day. I said, "what time to you want me to call you tomorrow?" She said, "2 o'clock, no 2:30." Wow is all I can say, I think she is slightly intuitive. 

Any way, I am tired, sitting here typing as Cohen is laying in his bassinet. And I'm thinking about heading to bed. Thanks for reading.

Visions of Sugar Plums Dance in My Head.

Well, I kind of owe someone an apology, not exactly sure who yet, but someone is probably due. Matt and I begrudgingly headed to the Health Department this morning and we were not prepared for what happened. I was already upset before we entered the building and basically told Matt, that he had to speak as I was already in tears. In my defense, I am 9 months pregnant and prone to emotional outbursts. So, this very nice girl tells us that she will squeeze us in on her break and we'll see if we can't get something. I'll spare all the boring details, but this amazing young girl whose only title was "Typist" is certainly much more deserving of a more inspiring title, maybe that of Goddess Representative on High, yeah, that's better. Whatever she did got not only Stella approved for MI Child - the very low monthly payment of $10/month with medical and dental which will allow her to continue going to the doctor in Plymouth that I absolutely love, but it also approved me for medicaid to fill in the blanks after I have Cohen and need all that follow up care, PLUS, she was able to qualify Cohen for the Healthy Kids program which is absolutely free!!!!! And, we were able to go back to Blue Cross Blue Shield, our beloved PPO. You do not know what it's like to go from having a PPO all your life to suddenly being thrust into the world of an HMO. I hated it and feel like I'm going home again. Before we left, both Matt and I hugged her and I told her that she had restored my faith in other people and I think I even called her honey, not like me, but I was again very emotional. So, needless to say, I finally feel like I am allowed to enjoy both this Christmas and the last few days we have as a family of three. Thank you again to our angel Nicole, you will never TRULY know what you've done for me and how I now trust other people with the things that are most important in my life. My hope is that someday I can do the same for someone else.

Merry Christmas!

Become A Dirt Ass, Get Rewarded For It!!!

*Alright, I am desperate. I know there are experts out there among you. Where can I go that I won't lose my house just to get my children seen or at the very least where can I take my newborn to get all the shots and checkups he needs? I am in a panic. We DO NOT qualify for any type of state funding, I make TOO MUCH money, however, at the moment, I can barely afford all my regular bills. Depending on when Cohen comes out, I will only have a day or so to get him to the doctor that I love, but will not be able to afford once I do not have insurance as a wellness visit would cost me $147 and a sick visit would cost me $87. What is wrong with this world where you are continually rewarded for leaching off the government. It's like if you are in the middle you are just f&%$ed! 

So, as you know, Matt was laid off the day before Thanksgiving and we'll be losing our health insurance as of January 1st. I was told by many people that my children at least would qualify for MI Child and potentially WIC. Well, I have absolutely no interest in applying for WIC, not a road I'd be willing to go down. But, for as far as health insurance goes, that is a necessary evil. Today I thought to myself, "gosh, I should really get that moving before Stella gets sick again and Cohen comes." So, I applied online. Well, guess what. We don't qualify because I make too much money. Gee Whiz, I knew that we were ROLLIN' IN THE DOUGH, but I didn't think that was any indication of whether or not my children would or would not qualify for the god given right to be raised healthfully? This is total BS if you ask me, and you should because I indeed have an opinion on the subject as you may have guessed by my post title. You see, in the eyes of the great state of Michigan, if you make anything above about $10/hour, you DO NOT qualify for a state funded program. Basically, we are being penalized for being 1. Educated, 2. Having Above Poverty Level Pay, 3. and basically Not Being Dirt Asses who always strive to be better, more productive citizens. Well, I for one am looking to purchase 4 tickets on the next train the hell out of this country and into Canada, maybe even France. Michigan and it's rediculous policies can kiss my you know what!!!!!

Do You Put Yourself Out There Too Much?

I do! How do you stop that behavior? At the moment, it can't be helped, but do you do it at the expense of your family and loved ones? I do! It's a pattern of mine that I'd like to end today! Why you may ask? Because it never seems to be reciprocated and it only seems to hurt the ones I love. Sorry, I'm just feeling low at the moment, I'll get over it.

It's A Marshmallow World In The Winter.

Well, the snow DID cover the ground, but most of our days go on as usual. All those lucky kiddies who don't have school today will be driving their parents nuts one day earlier than they would have. Took a couple photos of the yard and played with the color a bit, applied a Lomo Photo effect and then found a set of Vintage Photo Frame Brushes here to add a nice effect that so reminds me of the overexposed pictures my grandmother had in her collection of photographs that I was in love with. Feeling sort of blue today, but I always do when I miss my grandma. :( It's been 12.5 years, but she's never far from my thoughts, so this post is for your Margie!

An Amazing Gift.

Today when I opened my door to get the mail, there was a fluffy package there in that I was not expecting. But, I saw the name and knowing how talented this person is, I got so excited, I barely made time to put my other junk mail down. I ran to get something to open the package and what should be in there, but the most lovely little item I've ever seen, and it was all for me, well for Cohen anyway.It is the most absolutely loveliest little cozy sweater you ever did see. He is going to look so cute is this sweet little sweater. 

Sue, you are so talented and just once I want to hear you brag about how good you are at knitting and how you NEED to open a shop and how much people would just die to get ahold of the things you create. Please visit Sue's blog and encourage her to open some kind of shop where she can share all the beauty with others.

Sue, you are absolutely the best!

:)

One Last Picture.

Feeling really good today, and hoping sort of that it doesn't mean this is the calm before the storm. Or, maybe I do, I don't know. I decided I should probably take one last photo of the big ole belly before I give birth. We took Stella to see the lights at Hines Drive and needless to say, I was not impressed this year. Maybe it's the economy or maybe companies are bahumbugging it this year, but there wasn't nearly as much set up this year as the last. Hmmmm, not sure why it should cost $5 either. Oh well, not trying to be cheap, but if things aren't as good as last year, shouldn't the cost go down maybe? Well, feeling the pressure to remove old photos from Stella's scrapbooks as they are already falling apart and I'm going all digital. I can't help it, it kills me to see those stupid books already falling apart. I'm going with www.blurb.com for a large hard cover bound book. The cost isn't that bad when you consider what you'd spend on all the scrapbook paper products. You should check them out, they are so worth a looksee. Until next time.

My Zazzle Shop Items.

Just wanted to show you the items I have in my shop. I am sort of excited about them and who knows, maybe we can make a buck or two. Thanks for looking and remember, here is my shop.

This Is Not Meant To Offend

I don't think that this should offend anyone, but the only reason it's going here on my blog is because I want to protect my intellectual property rights and I've been advised that publishing it to the internet is as good as it gets. You all know that Matt was laid off the day before Thanksgiving right? Well and that because of all this bullshit, we are losing our insurance January 1st right? Forcing us to have Cohen early in order to avoid a rather large bill from Botsford General right? So, the other day at my OB appointment, I was chatting with Matt while half naked waiting for the doctor to come in and "survey the area." Well, we were talking about out of work auto workers and it dawned on me. I could change the UAW - United Auto Workers logo to the UOW United Outta Workers. And, I only felt justified in doing this because I had been personally affected by it. So, case closed for me, but I still hope not to have offended anyone. 

However, if you know of anyone that might be interested in a t-shirt with said logo on it, please visit my Zazzle shop here to purchase something. It could only add to our dwindling income.

We Have A Date.

An induction date that is. I am officially scheduled for December 26th at 8am to birth my little guy. Unless of course he has his own plans and well, let's be honest he is a man and they ALWAYS have their own agenda.

:)

Poor Jilted Stella.

The other day Stella informed me that she and Jimmy were and I quote "In Love." I laughed, but she insisted her and her little schoolmate who is quite the cutey were in fact in love. I asked her is she was going to marry him and her answer was "I'm not going to marry a little kid." I assume she was implying that they were just very close friends.

This evening after school, I saw Jimmy and his grandma walking past our house with a little girl. I said "hey Stella, Jimmy just went by our house." She bolts to the window only to see this little girl and she screams "that's Faith!" And let me just tell you, she sounded very mad that her little Jimmy was with another girl. I said, "well, are you sure that it's Faith?" And she said, "YES! yes it was." She proceeded to step out onto the porch and yelled "Hi Jimmy" but got no response. She sat out there for a minute, I can only guess debating whether or not to run down the sidewalk and say hello. Instead she sulked for a minute and told me that I needed to make her feel better. I felt for her, really, but mostly it just cracked me up.

We are surely in for it aren't we. 

Too Too Busy.

It's been a whirlwind since well, the day before Thanksgiving. Yeah, Matt is out of work, but thankfully with all the OT he had put in through the last year or so, his unemployment is about $10 more per week than an average dues removed payweek. Yippee! Sadly though, it won't last forever. At least we weren't used to him making amazing money and it's not an adjustment, until it runs out of course. But, he'll be done with school in another semester or so and we have our fingers crossed.

Well, I am out of PC world and loving every minute of it. My brand new laptop arrived vis FedEx the Monday after Thanksgiving and here she is. 

I am indeed in love! I was even able to work at Panera this very afternoon after dropping Stella off at school. True bliss I say. We also got jolly the Saturday after Thanksgiving and Stella and I decorated our beloved pink tinsel tree. Matt pretty much hates it and says he needs to hand over a man card for every years it exists, but I enjoy it, it's something I've always wanted and finally, when we bought our house 2 years ago, I went ahead and just bought one on Ebay. Love it.

And, subsequently after Thanksgiving Stella was sick and not just a little, try double ear infections. And, on top of that, after getting her a free antibiotic from Meijer, we found out through some not so lovely hives that she is in fact allergic to anything with cillin in it so we went from free to a $40 antibiotic. YEAH! What next? No, I probably shouldn't ask that huh?

I have a question of all ya'll who may read or lurk on my little boring blog, can a pregnant woman tell if her baby is breech by how the baby moves and feels from the outside of the belly? I have a strange feeling and inclination that he is either diagonal or facing the wrong direction or something. There is an obvious side that he moves on and one side of my stomach sticks out further than the other and on occasion one side is downright more uncomfortable than the other. Am I just being weird? Please advise.