The Feeling of Unraveling.

This was not the best weekend for me. Rather than delve into all the dirty details, I'll just say that what I'm left with today is the feeling the my life and myself are slowly unraveling. It mostly involves my immediate family and really, life long underlying issues that I've had to deal with there. My assertion that someone I love may be dealing with possible mental illness and the lack of support by said person to someone who so desperately needs support from all of us. Since we were kids, my brothers and I have had a somewhat rocky relationship, but I always felt like we could be open with each other, get angry, but then get over it and move along. Not so apparently, at least for them. Matt always tells me that I am full of holes that allow people to reach in and poke at me, and that I force myself to deal with toxicity at all times because of that. I agree, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but it's ME, take it or leave it, I won't be changing any time soon. All I can do is choose where and when to express my opinions and protect myself.

While in preschool, I was voted most sympathetic, and that hasn't changed. I feel what others are feeling, I can fully engross myself in someone else's emotions and take on their burdens along with my own, especially with those in my immediate circle. And, believe you me, it IS exhausting, I was emotionally spent yesterday as I weeped with my mother over the issues at hand. And, when a brother arrived, I begged him not to get things going while I was there, it would have just sent me over the edge with nausea. He understands, he didn't want to involve anyone else but my mother and father, hopefully that went well. 

Oofff, I'm still trying to come down from this weekend. On the upside, I did get to scrapbook for almost 12 hours on Saturday at an event up the road from my house. I didn't get as much done as I would have hoped, but I work slowly, painstakingly to give birth to each and everything I create, so it's fine with me. Thanks ladies for a fun weekend.  When I have time, I will post pics of what I did accomplish.