This Is Not Meant To Offend

I don't think that this should offend anyone, but the only reason it's going here on my blog is because I want to protect my intellectual property rights and I've been advised that publishing it to the internet is as good as it gets. You all know that Matt was laid off the day before Thanksgiving right? Well and that because of all this bullshit, we are losing our insurance January 1st right? Forcing us to have Cohen early in order to avoid a rather large bill from Botsford General right? So, the other day at my OB appointment, I was chatting with Matt while half naked waiting for the doctor to come in and "survey the area." Well, we were talking about out of work auto workers and it dawned on me. I could change the UAW - United Auto Workers logo to the UOW United Outta Workers. And, I only felt justified in doing this because I had been personally affected by it. So, case closed for me, but I still hope not to have offended anyone. 

However, if you know of anyone that might be interested in a t-shirt with said logo on it, please visit my Zazzle shop here to purchase something. It could only add to our dwindling income.

We Have A Date.

An induction date that is. I am officially scheduled for December 26th at 8am to birth my little guy. Unless of course he has his own plans and well, let's be honest he is a man and they ALWAYS have their own agenda.

:)

Poor Jilted Stella.

The other day Stella informed me that she and Jimmy were and I quote "In Love." I laughed, but she insisted her and her little schoolmate who is quite the cutey were in fact in love. I asked her is she was going to marry him and her answer was "I'm not going to marry a little kid." I assume she was implying that they were just very close friends.

This evening after school, I saw Jimmy and his grandma walking past our house with a little girl. I said "hey Stella, Jimmy just went by our house." She bolts to the window only to see this little girl and she screams "that's Faith!" And let me just tell you, she sounded very mad that her little Jimmy was with another girl. I said, "well, are you sure that it's Faith?" And she said, "YES! yes it was." She proceeded to step out onto the porch and yelled "Hi Jimmy" but got no response. She sat out there for a minute, I can only guess debating whether or not to run down the sidewalk and say hello. Instead she sulked for a minute and told me that I needed to make her feel better. I felt for her, really, but mostly it just cracked me up.

We are surely in for it aren't we. 

Too Too Busy.

It's been a whirlwind since well, the day before Thanksgiving. Yeah, Matt is out of work, but thankfully with all the OT he had put in through the last year or so, his unemployment is about $10 more per week than an average dues removed payweek. Yippee! Sadly though, it won't last forever. At least we weren't used to him making amazing money and it's not an adjustment, until it runs out of course. But, he'll be done with school in another semester or so and we have our fingers crossed.

Well, I am out of PC world and loving every minute of it. My brand new laptop arrived vis FedEx the Monday after Thanksgiving and here she is. 

I am indeed in love! I was even able to work at Panera this very afternoon after dropping Stella off at school. True bliss I say. We also got jolly the Saturday after Thanksgiving and Stella and I decorated our beloved pink tinsel tree. Matt pretty much hates it and says he needs to hand over a man card for every years it exists, but I enjoy it, it's something I've always wanted and finally, when we bought our house 2 years ago, I went ahead and just bought one on Ebay. Love it.

And, subsequently after Thanksgiving Stella was sick and not just a little, try double ear infections. And, on top of that, after getting her a free antibiotic from Meijer, we found out through some not so lovely hives that she is in fact allergic to anything with cillin in it so we went from free to a $40 antibiotic. YEAH! What next? No, I probably shouldn't ask that huh?

I have a question of all ya'll who may read or lurk on my little boring blog, can a pregnant woman tell if her baby is breech by how the baby moves and feels from the outside of the belly? I have a strange feeling and inclination that he is either diagonal or facing the wrong direction or something. There is an obvious side that he moves on and one side of my stomach sticks out further than the other and on occasion one side is downright more uncomfortable than the other. Am I just being weird? Please advise.

Secret Lair.

OK, so I'm coming to you from a remote location and have to be sure to dress warmly and type quickly. Actually, I'm located for the moment in our basement on Matt's PC. You see, for the past week or so, my computer has been acting strangely, just shutting off suddenly all on its own. We thought that maybe because of its proximety to our heating vent that it was in fact overheating, but since we moved it accross the room, it seemed to stop doing that. UNTIL, the other day. It must have shut itself off about 5-6 times before I finally realized, WOW, we really need to do something about this. I begrudgingly called my mother to see if she couldn't help us out and thankfully, since she's the best mom in the world an my rock, she obliged. I ordered a brand spankin' new macbook pro on Wednesday night. Thank god I did, as after that, it progressivley got worse and worse until finally I'd saved and transferred all that I could and the poor guy just conked right out. He'll be missed. He was my trusty steed for almost 3 years and because he was a refurb, who knows how long the previous owner had him. But, now with new baby quickly on the way, this little baby will make my life that much more portable and easier. Hopefully though, he will arrive much sooner than Cohen, I don't know how long I can last in PC world.
:P

And I Was In Such A Good Mood...

Some times I just love a good gloomy overcast day, so much more appealing when you have lots of indoor work to do. So, after dropping the little miss off at school I decided to head to Panera for a nice hazelnut coffee with a scotsch of nutmeg and a Cinnamon Crunch bagel. When, on the drive home what should happen but a nice fat rock hits my windshield and puts a nice little spider web crack in it. I figure it was only a matter of time before my cheer demeanor was forcibly changed and yet only still a matter of time before that small spider web turns into a giant spider mansion.

UGH!

A Conversation We Had This Morning.

Stella: "Mom, do you know that Patrick likes to say Fish Paste?"

Me: "Oh really, yeah, I guess I can remember hearing him say that."

Stella: "Yeah, and I think Sponge Bob likes to say Jesus Christ."

Me: "STELLA, don't say that again and by the way, I think it's Momma who likes to say that, but that's a big people word, you're not allowed to say it."

Stella: "OK momma."

Rough Day Today.

*UPDATE: Mission accomplished, not a repulsive mess any longer and still not as cleavagy as Pink. :)

Today started out good, but quite quickly regressed. Someone who shall remain nameless came over today to "cut" and I use that term loosely my hair. Needless to say, once this person left I began to try my attempt at fixing it. Matt suggested not fussing too much with it so that I didn't push it beyond being repairable. So needless to say, this is what I feel like I look like. Yes, not exactly like this, a little longer, but that's how it makes me feel. Then we decided to bring the babies dresser into the house from the garage only to realize that it was a complete and total piece of junk. A neighbor down the street gave it to us and acted like it was this great piece of "old" furniture but it ended up mostly being made of literally cardboard and particle board. It just brought me to tears in the end. With having to deal with Matt being laid off for all of December, the prospect of my hours dwindling greatly lately and losing our health insurance by January 1st, this day just sent me over the edge. I just want to scream AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

But, first thing tomorrow morning I plan on getting a cut that fixes the hackcut I received today. Stupid me for not looking deeper into the background of said person and trying to get something for nothing. Lesson learned. Here's what I'm going to hopefully get tomorrow. 

Wish me luck!

A Shocking Response.

Had another baby doc appointment and all is well. Baby Cohen is measuring 33 weeks already. Last time he was only measuring 29 weeks. Growing fast. I asked Stella tonight if she had any concerns about the baby coming and suddenly things got dark. She looks at me like she going to cry and says "I'm worried that Cohen will be dead in your tummy." All I could do was say "Oh baby, NO, he's fine, he's moving all the time, don't even worry about that." I thought she would say something more along the lines of "I'm afraid you won't love me as much as the baby" etc. 

Then she told Matt and it made him upset a little, apparently something he NEVER wants to hear again. Wow! Sometimes I am so shocked by what comes out of her little brain.

New Pregnancy Symptom!

OK, aside from eating anything and everything I see these days, I've developed yet another pregnancy symptom that I didn't have with Miss Stella. I started getting achy pain that felt like I had a bruise forming on my right wrist. Upon looking up this symptom in relation to pregnancy, I discovered that I more than likely have pregnancy related carpal tunnel. OMG! I cannot handle one more new thing to pop up. Oh, well, being that I am nearly 33 weeks, it could just be about a month from now that little Cohen arrives. Oh god, I'm scaring myself now.

PS: I should be receiving my prize from Candace Ang and I am breathless with anticipation.

The History of Halloween *aka* My Favorite Moments.

A recap of Halloween's past and present. Here is the little goobie as a goldfish for her second Halloween ever. Yup, I made the costume all with my own little hands. Felt was my medium for a few years.

Here is the Halloween for our first year in our new home. Actually we hadn't lived there for even a whole week by Halloween this year. Here she is Tinker Bell, well my felt covered version anyway. And of course an obligatory shot of her at the Pumpkin Patch with daddy.

This year right before Halloween, she fell off the porch and scraped her arm from wrist to elbow on a brick paver. "Ow!" It looks worse than it actually was because we only had really small band aids. I dubbed her Frankenstella for the next few days.

Daddy took her on a "Photo shoot" for a website he is creating. She is supposed to be the female, much younger, Woody Guthrie.

Yes, that is her guitar and yes those are Sponge Bob vinyl cling stickers on it.

Ah, the thankless job of a pumpkin carver. I was "busy" and didn't have to carve or get all gooey, that was her job.

Here are the treat boxes I created for her first class party. They are supposed to look like little monster with orange and green rice krispy treats on the inside. They came out pretty nice.

Here she is getting into costume for school. 

And, here she is on her costume parade around some of the hallways.

I'm Not Wrong, I'm Just Not Wrong!

I know this may easily offend, so steer clear if you even think you won't like it. Today apparently I offended someone and their political views. I do apologize to this person, but I have to say I don't think I'm wrong.

How can people say, because a certain person was NOT elected, that they feel scared, numb, frightened, etc??? What that implies to me is that they are ignorant and well, I just won't say anymore. This unelected person decided it was better to back out of Michigan only a few weeks before our historical and amazing vote the other night. Now, to me, that is not a good example to set as a would-be leader. It's cowardice and a sign of a quitter. Hmmmmmmm........not exactly what I expect out of my future leader. I have never aligned myself with any particular party. Although I was raised in a democratic household and married into a republican one. I have voted for both sides. This time around I sided with a winner! And, not to mention the "Change We Need!" I am proud to call Mr. Obama my president now and till the end of his term in office and I will pray for his safety every day for protection from the racist and bigoted. 

This was personal for me mostly I think because where we live is doing so poorly, but strong people will always survive regardless of your situation. You must Improvise, Adapt to Overcome! This is the motto in our home these days thanks to a former ex marine boss of my husbands. Matt works in the auto industry and our life has been a constant struggle ever since. We at least had enough foresight for him to go back to school, as he already has an Associates and a Bachelors degree that didn't get him where he needed to be, he will be receiving his 3rd degree just to be able to make it in this struggling economy. Being on the line as it were, his job will soon go to the lowest bidder as will all men and women in his position! It is just the reality of our times and area of the country.

People, what I'm saying is EMBRACE CHANGE! Damn! I get so frustrated hearing racist jokes about Obama and bullshit about being disappointed. Get on the bus and fast track it to the 21 Century, life is too short to spend your life afraid to change.

:(

WOW!

Well, I'm not very deep, but all I can say is that this is the first election where I feel like my voice was finally heard. Today, I am proud to be an American.

A Great Weekend.

Well, things are turning around for me, and fast. Still not ready to share yet, but soon enough ya'll will hear about it non stop I'm sure. Thanks Tristan!:) First off, here is a 30 almost 31 weeks pic of me.

Can't tell till I line up the photos how much bigger I look but from how I'm feeling lately, it's definite that I am substantially bigger now. I'm not getting as much sleep as I'd like right now because of me and working and stuff, but to be honest, my back hurts more when I sleep than when I don't and it seems to take me forever to get to sleep now, which is a total change from before pregnancy. Also, we were dealing with the little Miss and her cold in which she basically kicked Matt out of our bed Friday night forcing him to sleep in her bed and she finally settled down around about 2-2:30am. So, life lately, not conducive to good sleeping habits and old habits die hard as well. 

Saturday was just a really good day in general, new things on the horizon, a visit to a neighborhood haunted house all decked out that Stella absolutely loved. She actually told me she would pick Halloween over Christmas, that's a pretty big deal. On top of all that, I got this WAY cool bag from Scrappin' and Stampin' that I'm gonna use as a baby bag. 

I only had to buy $20 worth of Little Yellow Bicycle products to get it for free and that wasn't difficult for me. I am psyched.

I'm also in process with a treat box I'm creating for Stella's Halloween party at school, then I'll be making purple and orange rice krispy treats that will go in the box.  Today Matt and Stella carved pumpkins, pictures to follow and I am doing something a little different to mine because honestly it's rotting we're pretty sure and we won't be carving into that bad boy. I still need to get pics of the few little layouts I did last weekend at my crop, so hopefully in the next couple days I'll be posting all about Halloween and what we've got going.

It's Time For Things To Change.

Had a rough day yesterday, between managing the everyday and trying to mix in a doctor appointment for me that took WAY longer than it needed to and trying to feel like I'm a good mother, I was pushed to my limit by the time Matt got home from school at 10pm. I unloaded to him and luckily for him, he just sat there, listened, and sympathized. YES, after all this time, he knows what I am looking for when I do that, not spending the whole time interrupting me offering "suggestions." I actually felt a little better after talking this time. However, I stayed up till 2am and felt sick to my stomach when I woke up at 8am. I really need to stop doing that, but I feel so much pressure to produce lately. The doctor told me that my issues with stress and anger are most likely the result of severe sleep deprivation, and I would have to tend to agree, but everything else as far as the new babe goes is perfection. Aside from new symptoms now of sciatic pain and what could be the start of vericose vains (OH YEAH!). This is my life. 

But, there is something new and potentially positive on the horizon, only time will tell, but I can't wait to get started, it could only make things a bit easier in the long run.

The Feeling of Unraveling.

This was not the best weekend for me. Rather than delve into all the dirty details, I'll just say that what I'm left with today is the feeling the my life and myself are slowly unraveling. It mostly involves my immediate family and really, life long underlying issues that I've had to deal with there. My assertion that someone I love may be dealing with possible mental illness and the lack of support by said person to someone who so desperately needs support from all of us. Since we were kids, my brothers and I have had a somewhat rocky relationship, but I always felt like we could be open with each other, get angry, but then get over it and move along. Not so apparently, at least for them. Matt always tells me that I am full of holes that allow people to reach in and poke at me, and that I force myself to deal with toxicity at all times because of that. I agree, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but it's ME, take it or leave it, I won't be changing any time soon. All I can do is choose where and when to express my opinions and protect myself.

While in preschool, I was voted most sympathetic, and that hasn't changed. I feel what others are feeling, I can fully engross myself in someone else's emotions and take on their burdens along with my own, especially with those in my immediate circle. And, believe you me, it IS exhausting, I was emotionally spent yesterday as I weeped with my mother over the issues at hand. And, when a brother arrived, I begged him not to get things going while I was there, it would have just sent me over the edge with nausea. He understands, he didn't want to involve anyone else but my mother and father, hopefully that went well. 

Oofff, I'm still trying to come down from this weekend. On the upside, I did get to scrapbook for almost 12 hours on Saturday at an event up the road from my house. I didn't get as much done as I would have hoped, but I work slowly, painstakingly to give birth to each and everything I create, so it's fine with me. Thanks ladies for a fun weekend.  When I have time, I will post pics of what I did accomplish.

I'm A Winner!!

But, you all knew that. JK. I commented on a blog called The Blah, Blah, Blahg. I just commented and told them my favorite color and voila, I am a winner. I don't know exactly what I've won, but I do know it's a Candace Ang original. Could be jewelry, other than that, I'm not sure exactly what she designs, as soon as I know, you will! You should check out he Blah Blah Blahg, she does giveaways all the time and I NEVER win things, but this time I was lucky. Wahoooo!!!

What's Wrong With Me!

Am I having a hormone surge that I'm not fully aware of? Am I just a stick in the mud? I am just feeling down the last couple of days. Not like depressed, but just not yeah happy like I think I should be. I mean, I could use for the heavens to raineth money down upon us, but we're ok. I think it's because I keep waiting for this stupid reimbursement check to come in and every day it doesn't, I get irritated. But, it's not all about money. Things have just felt sort of rutty lately. Went to the doctor today and knew I probably gained some weight because I'd been eating like a little pregnant piggy and to my shock, I gained over 7 pounds. Wow! For me, that feels like a lot in 2 weeks. Maybe I should try NOT eating 6 meals a day.

In other news, we watched Oprah the other day and have decided to unplug all pluggable items when they are not in use so as to lower of some times excessive energy bill. The last one was for $160 or so, we're going to try to see how low we can go with unplugging as much as we can handle, you know tv, lamps, alarm clocks, radios, stove, furnace/air (just turned off) and turning off lights until we need them. It should be interesting if I can just get Stella to turn her bedroom light off when she leaves her room. So far, so good. I'll let you know what the verdict is.

I Am Heartbroken.

Today I heard something that made me so sad and it even made me cry. We picked Stella up from school this afternoon as we always do and she was telling us about her day. She cut out a stop sign and an arrow for her Stop, Drop and Roll mobil, apparently learning about fire saftey. Then she proceeds to tell us that at snack time a little boy sitting next to her told her she was fat. Her response was that of utter surprise and she stated, "I'm Not Fat!"

Inside I crumpled like a brittle leaf. All my worst fears leapt to the front of my brain and my throat clenched. My little baby may be slightly fluffy, but she certainly is not FAT!!! Damnit! These are my issues, not hers, why does she have to have those words uttered to her? She is beautiful and in my opinion, the cutest girl in her class, this little boy must obviously come from a family where it is acceptable to criticize even the youngest of people for various things. 

Matt's response to her was to tell the little boy, "well, at least my parents are literate, and married!" I half laughed, but inside I was hurt beyond recognition. As I got out the car after the 45 second car ride, I could hold back the tears no longer, even as I type this, I still have tears in my eyes. I called my mom, a teacher at the same school and she advised me to write a letter and that is what I intended to do anyway.

You see, in my preschool class, I was voted most sympathetic, and this is something that has stuck with me ever since, almost like a handicap, so far, Stella doesn't have this gene. God, I am so hurt by that, but luckily, she's a smart little girl, and not yet nearly as sensitive as I am or was. I love her so much.

A Bragging Rights Post.

Today is all about bragging. Well, not boastful bragging, oh well, maybe just a little. First, here is my latest belly shot, 27 weeks today. Wow, I wasn't freaked out until yesterday when I received in the mail a nice little pamphlet titled "New Beginnings Maternity Center at Botsford Hospital" which contains pages upon pages of info dedicated to my delivery day. Yes, it is inevitable, but up until now, I was under the impression that I wasn't afraid of labor this time around. Ha! Suppose I even fooled myself. Alas, here is my latest photo. Oh yeah, here comes the bragging part. Last week at the doctors office, I had to ask them how much weight I've gained, because I honestly hadn't been keeping track. And, guess what, I've only gained 3.25 pounds. Now, it's not as good as when I had Stella, where I only gained 2.5 pounds up until the weekend before I actually gave birth to her, the weekend I put on 12 pounds of water weight and delivered her 5 days later. But, I wasn't sure how my body would behave this time around, I WAS SCARED! There is just something about my body's chemistry while I'm pregnant, however, when not pregnant, it's a toss up. While it may not be appearing on the scale, I indeed am feeling blimpalicious, and this picture proves it.

Today we had a visit from Stella's teacher, part of this preschool programs requirements, a home visit once in the beginning of the year and once at the end. I was a little nervous, as I know that we all know our own children's short comings, but it's still hard to hear them out loud, not discussed in hushed voices with your spouse while said child is in an adjacent room. But, luckily she is doing just fine. She's not ready for the talented and gifted program, but I have learned that I have a very sweet and very tolerant little girl on my hands. Yesterday she came home telling us about a little girl that kept following her around telling her that she wanted to be her friend. Stella told us though in no uncertain terms that she DID NOT want to be this girls friend, but she played with her anyway. I told her that she didn't have to be best friends with everyone, but that she DID however need to be nice and she assured us that she would be. I do know that child she is talking about and I am guilty of harboring the same feelings about her becoming friends with this little girl, but my feelings com from a more shallow and even a little bit of a concerned place. You see, this little girl cries every day before going home because she does not want to go home, and that makes me wonder just what the heck is going on at home. I will never let Stella set foot in that little girls home, I wouldn't want her to be subjected to anything that may or may not be going on there. But, that may be fodder for stories for another day. 

Finally, I decided just what I wanted to do with that wine bottle that I had holding my fake dozen black roses. I decided at about 10pm last night that I didn't want fake black roses just sitting in a wine bottle in my house when Stella's teacher came by to visit so here is what I did with it.

In the close up view I tried to show where I used white ribbon to create a mummy like feeling to wrap the portion of the bottle that was difficult to wrap with paper, I think that I was successful. At least it was creative and as usual, I accomplished it at my pace.